Less Stress for You and More Time for Your Family For many years, we have been a society of trying to "have it all," and of working to keep up with the Joneses. Guess what? You may no longer have to keep up with the Joneses because they have collapsed from exhaustion! And although we're beginning to understand that you can't have it all and most of us don't even want it all, it's easy for working parents to be overwhelmed, frustrated and just plain tired. If you feel this way, you are not alone. According to the National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC), the majority of mothers in the United States with children under the age of 18 work outside the home, including 59% of those with infants and 74% of those with school-aged children. Busy parents tend to be overscheduled, overcommitted, overworked, overindulged, overtired and overstressed. Does this sound like your life? If so, what can you do to make life flow a little more smoothly?  

The workdays fly and weekends seem to fill up quickly. If we take a look back at our calendars from last month, most of us are probably amazed at all we accomplished and a bit awestruck by the fact that we actually got through it all. Although it's easy to want to hurl that daily planner from a moving car as a means of simplifying our lives, our calendar can actually be the key to more time for our family and ourselves. Here's how:

There are certain times in the routine of the day that bring us together with our children, such as commuting in the car or having meals. Instead of rushing through these tasks or focusing on other things like work, try to focus on your child.

Do you find yourself sitting at your desk gobbling down lunch or skipping it altogether? At the beginning of each month write "lunch with self" in your calendar for each week. Hold this appointment like you would any other important lunch date or meeting. Some time for yourself will make you a better parent and employee. Lunch doesn't have to be lunch at all. Consider a walk, exercise, shopping, reading or napping.

If your child can spend time with you in the middle of the day and transition easily back to his school or child care program, put an appointment for lunch together in your calendar. Speak with your child's school to determine the time of the day that makes sense. If the distance between work and school is too great for a mid-day jaunt, try picking your child up early for a trip to the park or a museum. Again, check with the school.

You can go for a bike ride together, visit a historical site, or spend a couple of hours at the local library. It really doesn't matter what you do as long as the family is spending time together.

Mark time on your calendar to enjoy just hanging at home. Your family can spend time alone or together reading, taking a walk, playing a board game or snuggling. Once you mark the date, try not to let other activities interfere. Busy families are out and about so much, we often forget to enjoy the comforts of home.

There's one thing that none of us can buy, even Bill Gates, and that's time. But we all wish we had more. What's the best way to manage the time crunch? We all know the answer/: take a look at what we're spending our time doing and assess what we wish we had time to do. Here are some quick tips:

• Set priorities for your time: family, work, community
• Only volunteer for or accept additional responsibilities that fit your goals

• Don't procrastinate - complete work as it comes
• Organize your home and office so you clean as you go, avoid weekend overhauls as it takes away from family time
• List all your responsibilities and eliminate one if possible
• Ask for help and give help. It sets a good example for children
• Give your child responsibilities
• Complete household chores together. It is one of the best times to teach and have conversations with your child

• Avoid buying too many things. The more you have, the more you have to take care of
• Even if you can afford it, don't buy your child something every time you go in a store
• Avoid giving your child too many choices
• Set limits

• Realize that you cannot control how others act, but you can control how you react; this includes your reaction to your children
• Be the thermostat, not the thermometer
• Exercise
• Do something for yourself

Any stress that keeps occurring can lead to getting sick more often; problems concentrating, sleeping and eating; high blood pressure and heart disease; and anxiety and depression. In other words, left alone, stress can be bad for both your physical and mental health. According to the AARP, a national organization for retired people, it's important to get control of our stress before it controls us. Here are several steps you can take to help you get started:

Think of the things that cause you the most stress. Write them down, along with the level of stress they cause and how they affect you.

Decide which things on your list you can do something about. Remember that you might not be able to control everything on your list. For instance, your children leaving home or traffic jams are the trying parts of life. Even though you can't control these events, you can control how you react to them. Instead of getting worked up during morning rush hour traffic, use the time in your car to listen to a book on tape or a morning radio show. Even small changes can make a difference and help you feel more in control of your life.

If there are things at home or at work that you just can't or don't want to do, let them go – cross them off your list if you can. And don't commit to new things just because you feel you have to. Say "no" to heading up that new project if you already have too many duties at work. Let someone else run the school fundraiser this year. Learning to say "no" may take some practice. It might feel uncomfortable at first. But taking on too much and failing is more stressful than "passing" on a request in the first place.

Don't expect perfection from yourself or others. For some things, doing an okay job is just fine.

The key to setting limits is to first set priorities. Decide what is most important for your family and you, and set time aside for those things, such as family meals, fun time, or retirement planning. For everything that falls outside your priority list, ask yourself, "What's the worst thing that would happen if I didn't do this?" If you can live with the answer, then drop it from your "to do" list.

Think of the things that cause you the most stress. Write them down, along with the level of stress they cause and how they affect you.